This unconventionally romantic poem from Ogden Nash is sure to inspire a chuckle from guests. Despite its seemingly traditional title, To My Valentine is a funny alternative for couples who are looking for something light-hearted in their ceremony. Nash's use of puns throughout the poem makes for a sweet comparison to his declarations of love. The point to note is that the options are truly endless when it comes to ceremony readings, no matter what style you're looking for.

To My Valentine by Ogden Nash

More than a catbird hates a cat,
Or a criminal hates a clue,
Or the Axis hates the United States,
That’s how much I love you.

I love you more than a duck can swim,
And more than a grapefruit squirts,
I love you more than a gin rummy is a bore,
And more than a toothache hurts.

As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea,
Or a juggler hates a shove,
As a hostess detests unexpected guests,
That’s how much you I love.

I love you more than a wasp can sting,
And more than the subway jerks,
I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch,
And more than a hangnail irks.

I swear to you by the stars above,
And below, if such there be,
As the High Court loathes perjurious oathes,
That’s how you’re loved by me.

Get more great ideas for your ceremony readings here!