What To Do If Your Bride Doesn't Want A Hen Party

Fun alternatives to make her feel spesh!

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There will always be some brides who say they're not too fussed about having a hen party, and some who are vehemently against the whole idea. So what do you do if you're a bridesmaid or the best friend of a bride who doesn't want a hen? It's only natural to want to celebrate your girl, and mark the end of her singlehood, so it's quite the predicament - you don't want her to think you don't care, but you also want to respect her wishes! In this post, we're fleshing out the options. Our tips should help you reach a compromise, so the run-up to your pal's wedding will still be fun and memorable, regardless of what you end up doing!

1. Listen To Your Bride

If your bride doesn't want a hen, like really, really doesn't want one, don't just go and throw her one anyway. It's really not fair to force it and it will only cause her more stress. If you think it's more a case that she doesn't want a "stereotypical hen" or a whole weekender, that's a different matter, and you may be able to work around it. Either way, ask your bride what it is about the idea of a hen she doesn't like, and build your alternative hen party ideas from there.

Photo by Jenny Quicksall via One Fab Day

2. Protect Her Wishes

A common issue when a bride doesn't want a hen is that a group of friends - who possibly think the bridesmaids or besties are slacking! - end up throwing their own splinter hen anyway. Sometimes multiple friend groups have the same idea and the bride who didn't want one hen party ends up having several! As far as you can, try to speak up for your bride if you hear of any plans springing up. Make it clear that you've talked it over with the bride, you're 100% sure it's not what she wants, and that she won't appreciate having a hen forced upon her.

Photo by Sharon Kee Photography via One Fab Day

3. Do Something Low-Key At Home

If you think your pal doesn't want a hen because she doesn't want her guests to worry about money or she doesn't like the idea of much fuss or attention, why not throw her a more casual hen party at home? Whether it's an intimate slumber party with her very close friends, something during the day (like a kitchen party!), or a night in with cocktails and nibbles, staying at home will instantly put a reluctant hen at ease.

4. Keep it Among the Bridesmaids or the Besties

Lots of brides don't like the idea of bringing the friends from different aspects of their life together for a big night out - a good compromise is having a super intimate hen party, with just the bridesmaids or the bride's best friends (you'll find that brides who don't want a hen party often opt out of having a bridal party too!). You don't even need to call it a hen. Whether it's a fancy dinner, a city break, a spa weekend, or a casual brunch date, keeping the party to just three, four or five will make it far less "hen-like."

Photo by Craig and Eva Sanders via One Fab Day

5. Go For A HenStag

We get a lot of questions about how to throw a henstag/sten/mixed-gender hen party, which is why we wrote this handy post! This is a great option for a bride who doesn't want a hen - by teaming up with a shared gang of pals, the party becomes less girly, less about the bride and often less of a fuss, which could be exactly what your girl is after.

6. Think About the Booze-Free Bride

If a bride doesn't drink, she may think a hen party isn't for her, but that's absolutely not the case! There are lots of fun options for alcohol-free hen parties, as well as fun food-focused hen ideas for brides who are more interested in pizza than Prosecco!

Photo by Colin Colleran Photographer via One Fab Day

7. Don't Let Her Plan Her Own Hen Alone

A lot of brides, particularly those who aren't having bridesmaids, will say they don't want a hen because they don't feel comfortable asking someone else to plan it. If your girl starts to plan her own pre-wedding gathering, ask her what she's got in mind, and either offer to take the planning off her plate, or at the very least, give her a hand. Take over the hosting on the day itself if you can, so she can properly relax.

Vintage-Floral-and-Pastel-Wedding-at-Virginia-Park-Lodge-by-The-Lous-Photography-67 — Photo by We Are The Lous via One Fab Day

8. Make Her Feel Special

Even if your bride doesn't want a hen, you still want her to feel loved and create some hype around her big day. You can create a little hamper of bridal goodies, or make a scrapbook with crowd-sourced stories, tips, and photos from all her friends. My friends gave me a deck of cards with 52 of the sweetest notes you could imagine, I cannot tell you what a special gift it was! Whatever you choose to do, a little thought goes a long way, and your bride will be endlessly grateful that you respected her wishes, and made her feel really special to boot!